FAIR's Rising Generation

Archive for September 13th, 2009

The second installment in the Getting Confidence series.  This series is my attempt to help you learn things about confidence I’ve discovered.  View the series intro here.

When I worked in retail, a kid, probably 18, came in the store wearing some flashy “gangsta” clothes.  There’s nothing wrong with that in and of itself.  But what he did while in it made him look ridiculous.

He came up to me and said, “Wow it sure is hot out there.”  The store had no windows and I had been there since opening.  “Is it?”  “Yeah,” he said, “feel my arm.”  That was kind of weird, but trusting and sometimes unthinking as I am I reached out.  He quickly drew back his arm, looked worried and said, “wo, wo, wo, not while there’s people around.”  He then grinned to his friends, turned, and walked away.

I caught on pretty quick that he was setting me up to make it look like I was attracted to him.  Wow buddy.  You really got me.  Last time someone pulled that on me, I think I was thirteen.

A couple days later I was listening to the radio where the host called up a local business and asked if he left any “updawg” there.  The helpful lady on the other end tried to assure him he didn’t, and they didn’t have anything in the lost and found.  He kept persisting and she remained patient.  Finally he asked her, “Do you even know what updawg is?”  She said she didn’t, so he asked her if she was going to ask him what it is.  “What is it?”  “What is what?”  “What’s updawg?”  The host shouted back, “Nothing! What’s up with you dawg?”  With that he hung up, and I’m pretty sure he thought he was the man.  I, on the other hand, wasn’t convinced.

Neither of these guys had confidence.  Why?  Because they had to act like they did.   Well, that might not be entirely fair.  They were confident they could trick people.  They were confident their friends would appreciate rehashing jokes they learned in their pre-teen years.  They must have been confident they wouldn’t get into any trouble, because I doubt they would have done it if there was any backlash.

This series will not go over the confidence of manipulating others, how to have confidence in front of your friends, (like the kid dressed up like a gangster not because he liked the look primarily, but because he thought others would like him more as an imitation one) or even how to convince others you are confident.  The point is, if you know you are confident, others will know.

That’s what is behind the series name.  Instead of the more common phrase “gaining confidence,” this is, “getting confidence.”  Because by the end, you won’t be trying to prove to others you gained confidence, but you will be able to say to yourself you get it, or rather, “Yea, I got it.”