FAIR's Rising Generation

Author Archive

Today, I decided to get a little more expensive haircut than I normally do.   It’s a once in a long while indulgence I take for the sake of exploration.  If I let a quality stylist do something and it looks good, I know what to tell cheaper stylists what I want when I let them attack my top.

As I sat in the chair, I noticed a couple things about me.  I have very fine, straight hair which means I can’t do very much with it without revealing a whole lot of ugly scalp.  In addition to doing nothing with my hair, I can pull off a fauxhawk and a side part.  At a forward looking 21, I stay away from the fauxhawk.  So as long as I bother to put it in, I have a hairstyle which looks sharp, professional, and probably displays my personality better than other types.

After I noticed my hairstyle, I looked at my neck.  I have a long neck, and it used to bother me a lot.  I studied how I could minimize it knowing, for better or for worse, I’m stuck with it.  With no luck, I had to stop letting it bother me.  Eventually, when I started to focus on my bad posture and worked to fix it, I noticed that having better posture made me more satisfied with my neck length, and I avoided years of embarrassment over something that shouldn’t be that embarrassing.

No one is so customizable that they can pull of any look they want.  But anyone can take their image and look nice.  If we keep confidence in our shape, proportions, and distinctive features, we’ll have confidence that flows into other parts of our lives.

Be proud of who you are, don’t try to fit a mold that isn’t you, and if you are a guy with thin, straight hair, try using a little paste or clay instead of gel.

___

FRG needs more writers, regardless of age, who are interested in writing a guest post for us, so if you have a message to share you may submit a sample of your words to us via our web form at http://youth.fairlds.org/contact.php.  Chances are good that we’ll like what you have to say and set you up as a guest blogger on our site.

My mission had a lot of adventures.   The things I did, the stuff I ate,  and the people I saved were all adventurful.   And when I say saved, I don’t mean in just the spiritual sense.

One afternoon, my companion and began to walk across a wide, crowded intersection which flooded with people after the signal to cross came on.  Like nearly all streets in Australia, the road had little reflectors drilled into it which helped cars with lights on know where the middle of the road is.  As we walked, a little old lady kicked one with her shoe and came tumbling forward into my arms.  In a split second, I braced myself so we wouldn’t fall.  After the initial shock, she stood straight and we crossed the street together.  She gave me a kiss on the cheek and thanked me for saving her, which the large audience around us recognized with lots of smiles.

The fact that I was right there at the right moment was nothing short of providence.  If she hit the pavement, she could have broke something.  So yeah, I was a hero — that is, until I told my family the other night.

After pointing out how good I was my brother asked, “Wait a second, you were moving in a straight line, the lady tripped in a straight line and you caught her?”  “Yes,” I said proudly.  He put a disgusted look on his face, “What were you doing, playing chicken with the poor old lady?”

After a few other comments, I wasn’t the hero anymore.  I probably scared the lady by coming directly at her and she tripped in a panic.  I was about to defend myself, but the heroic moment was over, and it would have done no good.

Fortunately mocking each other is a recognized pastime in my family.  I knew my family believed me, but no one was about to let me think I am the Mormon missionary version of Superman.   It turns out that getting ourselves worked up about how good we are is not a healthy way to go through life.  We should recognize our achievements and be willing to show our talents, but ultimately, as GK Chesterton noted, “Angels fly because they take themselves lightly.”  I know I’m a hero.  I just try not to get worked up over the idea.

___

FRG needs more writers, regardless of age, who are interested in writing a guest post for us, so if you have a message to share you may submit a sample of your words to us via our web form at http://youth.fairlds.org/contact.php.  Chances are good that we’ll like what you have to say and set you up as a guest blogger on our site.

Last night (Sunday) my family decided to pull out the Rook deck. Rook is a card game but instead of normal face cards, has cards with 4 colors and numbers going from 1 to 14 along with a horrid looking crow-like-bird called the Rook. The game is fairly complicated and is played in teams; my dad and I against my sister and mom.

It started out fairly rough. They were all using strange Rook terms like trumps, tricks, set up, taking the bet, the nest, kitty, and counters. My dad was trying to explain how to play to me while my mom kept trying to make me put down a bad card. I got angry, did everything but yelled at people, and told them they had no skill at explaining things simply. Someone said, “this is why our family can’t play competitive games.” This is true. In games where we can either build ourselves up or ruin someone else’s chance to win we always attack, most of us cheat when we can, and the standing house rule of revenge is winner cleans up. None of these mattered in Rook, but we did notice that the losing team every round was always in a fowl mood.

Eventually my dad and I were handily beaten. What did we do about it? Nothing. We sat as a family and laughed and told stories. The winners got to lecture the losers on why they were superior (another key part of our family games), but we endured the punishment and moved on. Why? Because its just a game, and a game isn’t worth hurt feelings. But that has been the price it demanded in the past. Elder Uchtdorf shared a story about just how terrible this sort of thing can be:

On a dark December night 36 years ago, a Lockheed 1011 jumbo jet crashed into the Florida Everglades, killing over 100 people. This terrible accident was one of the deadliest crashes in the history of the United States. A curious thing about this accident is that all vital parts and systems of the airplane were functioning perfectly—the plane could have easily landed safely at its destination in Miami, only 20 miles (32km) away. During the final approach, however, the crew noticed that one green light had failed to illuminate—a light that indicates whether or not the nose landing gear has extended successfully. The pilots discontinued the approach, set the aircraft into a circling holding pattern over the pitch-black Everglades, and turned their attention toward investigating the problem.

They became so preoccupied with their search that they failed to realize the plane was gradually descending closer and closer toward the dark swamp below. By the time someone noticed what was happening, it was too late to avoid the disaster. After the accident, investigators tried to determine the cause. The landing gear had indeed lowered properly. The plane was in perfect mechanical condition. Everything was working properly—all except one thing: a single burned-out lightbulb. That tiny bulb—worth about 20 cents—started the chain of events that ultimately led to the tragic death of over 100 people. Of course, the malfunctioning lightbulb didn’t cause the accident; it happened because the crew placed its focus on something that seemed to matter at the moment while losing sight of what mattered most.

Often we get caught up in the, “It’s the principle of the thing!” or the, “If I’m going down, I’m taking her with me!” or whatever. When I was in my junior and senior years, the school’s magnificent choir teacher was replaced by a man who didn’t rise up to peoples’ expectations. A lot of my classmates hated the teacher because he ruined their great chance to be a part of an amazing choir. A handful started a petition to get him fired. Fire a family man! Over what? Because a year or two of high school choir isn’t as cool as we hoped for? Looking back, I can’t think of anything more ridiculous in the world.

If we focus on the small, the immediate, our convenience, comfort, and wishes, our minds and actions will focus on the petty, frivolous, limited, and inessential at the expense of the significant, meaningful, and crucial. The way to a happy life is not by getting angry over a game, ignoring what is going on around us, or taking offense because life isn’t handed to us the way we want; it’s by remembering what really matters most: the Gospel, family, and building others up. With those in mind, no matter what pile of dirt life hands us, we can make flowers grow from it.

—References—
Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “We Are Doing a Great Work and Cannot Come Down,” Liahona, May 2009, 59–62

—–

FRG needs more writers, regardless of age, who are interested in writing a guest post for us, so if you have a message to share you may submit a sample of your words to us via our web form at http://youth.fairlds.org/contact.php.  Chances are good that we’ll like what you have to say and set you up as a guest blogger on our site.

The strange quote above comes from Proverbs 17:22 in the Bible. Let’s translate it out. “A merry heart” is laughter. “Doeth good like a medicine” is that it is good for you. Laughing is good for you. Yeah, that comes from the Bible.

But laughter’s not a joking matter (note the pun). Those who’ve studied it seriously have found out laughter actually is medicine. As one university professor stated:

Studies show that humor and laughter help people live longer, happier lives; be more creative and productive; and have more energy with less physical discomfort. Humor reduces stress, fear, intimidation, embarrassment, and anger. Laughter also has extraordinary healing power. When a person laughs, blood pressure decreases, heart rate and respiration increase, the body releases endorphins, and depression declines. After the laughter subsides and you relax again, that good feeling has a lasting effect, even until the next day. Not many medicines will do that.[1]

Usually when I think of medicine, I have faint haunting memories from when I was six or seven. I don’t know why, but for some reason I needed a spoonful of this horribly nasty liquid that vainly tried to mask its horrid taste with cherry flavor. I remember my siblings tackling me, pinning down my arms while I kicked and struggled to be free while my mother came at me with the bottle and spoon like an executioner with bringing the block and axe. If I wasn’t thinking that at the time, its definitely how I felt.

Yet from what the quote above said, that disgusting medicine is still helping me. Why? Because now I laugh when I remember what I then thought was torture of the cruelest form.

Orson Scott Card recently observed the strange priority that laughter, or rather humor, takes for desirable qualities in marriage:

I was starting a lesson on marriage for the priests quorum in my ward, and I asked them, “What do you think is important when you’re looking for a wife?” They sat in stony silence for a while. I think they suspected a trap. Finally one of them said, “Well, it helps if she’s good-looking.” Come on, they’re teenage boys. I didn’t even argue. “What else?” The very next suggestion was: “Sense of humor.” I looked around at them and nodded. “Yeah, I guess she’d better have that.”[2]

Card goes on to say that having a good sense of humor doesn’t mean to be funny, “or comedians would be the first people to get married.” It means that if your are in a situation where you could get angry, embarrassed, insulted, or enraged, laugh instead.

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin put it this way. “Have you ever seen an angry driver who, when someone else makes a mistake, reacts as though that person has insulted his honor, his family, his dog, and his ancestors all the way back to Adam? Or have you had an encounter with an overhanging cupboard door left open at the wrong place and the wrong time which has been cursed, condemned, and avenged by a sore-headed victim? There is an antidote for times such as these: learn to laugh.”[3]

While we can’t control everything that happens to us, we can control how we react. If we choose to laugh, we’ll find life more enjoyable, be healthier, and be more attractive to others. And even the Bible says so.

—footnotes—
[1] Gary K. Palmer, “The Power of Laughter,” Ensign, Sep 2007, 32–35
[2] Orson Scott Card, “Marriage Needs Lots of Humor,” Mormon Times, Jun 18 2009, http://mormontimes.com/mormon_voices/orson_scott_card/?id=9241
[3] Joseph B. Wirthlin, “Come What May, and Love It,” Liahona, Nov 2008, 26–28

—-

FRG needs more writers, regardless of age, who are interested in writing a guest post for us, so if you have a message to share you may submit a sample of your words to us via our web form at http://youth.fairlds.org/contact.php.  Chances are good that we’ll like what you have to say and set you up as a guest blogger on our site.

“[T]here was no contention in the land, because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people” (4 Nephi 1:15). This verse highlights what I think is one of the best kept secrets on becoming Christlike.

Love is obviously important. Staying away from sin is important. We know if we love someone we would never want to hurt them, but when we think of the best ways to avoid sin, does love jump out as the first solution?

Sitting at lunch one day, a few missionaries and I thought of all the ways we could become better people. Our sins and weaknesses were blared at us, and we desperately wanted to change. Despite our best efforts, none of us felt like we were getting anywhere.

One of the Elders found a talk in an old Ensign which revealed to us our solution. It said, “…Christ’s ultimate defense was not his supreme will-power but simply that, nurtured by the Spirit, he had no desire for Satan’s grimy alternatives. He loves the things his Father loves. Thus, as his desires became deeds, those deeds reflected a spontaneous righteousness that came from the very depths of his being.”

That was the answer. If we change our desires to “love the things God loves” then our desire to sin vanishes. The author goes on to say how making this change is possible, taking advice from the prophet Mormon:

What I wanted was charity, which was “the pure love of Christ.” And I could receive it if I would “pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ.” And Mormon also included the promise I needed–”that ye may become the sons of God … that we may be purified even as he is pure” (Moro. 7:47–48; italics added).

We can’t overcome temptation through love on our own. We have to pray for it. Elder Bednar promises that with this intent in our prayers we will notice a difference in how we act. “[T]here are occasions where normally we would have a tendency to speak harshly, and we do not; or we might be inclined to anger, but we are not. We discern heavenly help and strength and humbly recognize answers to our prayer. Even in that moment of recognition, we offer a silent prayer of gratitude.” We will notice the change of our very natures to be more Christlike.

And as the final part of the process, Elder Bednar tells us:

At the end of our day, we kneel again and report back to our Father. We review the events of the day and express heartfelt thanks for the blessings and the help we received. We repent and, with the assistance of the Spirit of the Lord, identify ways we can do and become better tomorrow. Thus our evening prayer builds upon and is a continuation of our morning prayer. And our evening prayer also is a preparation for meaningful morning prayer.

Praying with “all the energy of heart” is a cycle of morning and night prayers with conscious actions to improve in between them. When we follow the cycle asking our hearts to be turned toward Christ, our prayers will be answered. I know this is true. I love being in control of my life, with no desire to follow temptations I used to have, because now I view them the way Christ views them and love the things God loves.

-references-
The talk mentioned in this blog was Dennis R. Peterson, “To Love the Things God Loves,” Tambuli, Mar 1981, 17 which can be accessed on the lds.org website here

Elder Bednar’s article comes from David A. Bednar, “Pray Always,” Ensign, Nov 2008, 41–44 found here

—–

FRG needs more writers, regardless of age, who are interested in writing a guest post for us, so if you have a message to share you may submit a sample of your words to us via our web form at http://youth.fairlds.org/contact.php.  Chances are good that we’ll like what you have to say and set you up as a guest blogger on our site.