FAIR's Rising Generation

So I totally lost it today–my temper, that is. And you wouldn’t believe the object of my fiery conflagrations (Note: a trick I learned from Steve Smoot). Yes, I finally bought a membership to the FAIR mailing list *round of applause*, and hearing that Gmail had the best features for that sort of thing (mailing-list stuff), and knowing that my inbox would be getting a ton more traffic from now on, I TRIED to set up a new Google Mail account.

And…the weirdest thing happened…. They wouldn’t activate my account unless I gave them my mobile phone number. First of all, who’s to say I even have a mobile phone (I do, btw, Mr. Jones–a Blackberry)? Second, who’s to say I have text messaging activated (I don’t, Mr…uhh…erm…)?

I went berserk. I truly went berserk–perhaps even berserk-’O’. I wrote Google a nasty letter and told them they had become the next Microsoft (I wanted to tell them “the next Apple”, but Apple still seems to have some sort of indie cred for some bizarre reason, which means Google wouldn’t have gotten the reference, and in fact, probably would’ve interpreted it as a compliment).

This leads me to my second point… I rather enjoy swearing, and I especially enjoy swearing in the company of women. See, when something really bad happens to a Mormon, they tend to start swearing…or drinking *ahem* caffeinated soft beverages. They may even take a swipe at, oh, we’ll say McConkie. I’m sorry if I’m offending you; this has just been my experience. Take it with a grain of salt if you want (which is a good policy when listening to me drone on).

No, nothing all that terrible has happened to me…at least not recently (my storehouse is overflowing, as I like to say), but when it comes to swearing, I usually like to play along with others (the more disgruntled element). Sure, I could go on and on about how profanity is a social invention and that the the words **** and **** don’t actually have any real difference in meaning. Sure, I could go on about how extreme situations call for strong language, and that profanity undeniably serves an important purpose in how we interact with each other (For example, if some punk is messing with my girl, I’m going to drop a you-know-what! on him). Sure, I could go on about how “the world has turned and left us here” (Rockwood, if you’re reading, which you’re not, that was for you), how we’re more sensitive to the evils of bigotry nowadays, and how racial slurs are the new profanity, and how the old profanity (remember, socially constructed) is really nothing at all. I could go on about those things…but I don’t have time for that now.

So you may think that when I talk about regrets, I’m alluding to the above (actually, it should be pretty obvious that I’m not). It’s funny that we, as Latter-day Saints, place so much emphasis on image (and, I do believe, we invented the word ‘prideful’, which happens to define us quite well), because do you honestly believe that your sister who, in a total lapse of judgment, got a tattoo on her hip when she was a teenager is really going to hell? Do you really believe your cola drinking uncle (uncles?) are going to hell? Do you really believe your nephew with the earring is going to hell? Do you really believe that the road to hell is paved with R-rated movies?

Do you really think I’M going to hell…just because I like to swear with the ladies?

This leads me to my assertion that there is really only ONE SIN that actually matters, just like there is only one commandment that actually matters (ie, love God). That is, all of the “shalt not”s of the ten commandments can be distilled into one. In other words, ROBBERY is the only REAL sin.

To rob one of innocence, dignity, fair compensation, liberty and freedom, etc.–those are real sins. The oppression, exploitation, and betrayal of one human by another–this is the true definition of evil. This is the sin that has plagued the human family since Adam. Take another look at your scriptures: from the Books of Moses to the Gospels to King Benjamin’s famous sermon to the Fourth Book of Nephi to the story of Cain (and Lamech–”bad” Lamech, that is) as found in the Pearl of Great Price, we see a common theme: Exploitation. Pride is the great Mormon sin, but it is not the greatest sin of all, merely because it is a “gateway sin” as I humorously call it. Gateway sins are simply those sins that eventually make you think it’s okay to hurt other people. Weatlh, education, and pride–not sins in and of themselves, but extremely dangerous.

My brother-in-law used to work at a nice restaurant that frequently hosted banquets. He said something once that really made me think: He said when he was serving middle-class folk at a banquet, he had nothing to worry about. They were polite, dignified, amiable, reserved, and generally well-behaved (even when drunk). He said it was the upper and lower class groups that gave him infinitely more trouble, and while they looked different, they basically acted the same. They were rude, inconsiderate, boisterous, and disrespectful.

Weird.

It seems as though those who are excluded or willfully exclude themselves from mainstream society are the most likely to…exploit waiters and waitresses. In my last post, I emphatically stated that I was neither a Capitalist nor a Socialist, and that is probably why. When asked about my political allegiances, I can only remark, rather obscurely, that I believe in the centrality of the family as taught by the Church.

So, what am I going on about regrets for? What are my deepest regrets if not swearing, drinking cola, and watching R-rated movies? My deepest regrets, believe it or not, have to do with the people I ignored when I should have tried to make a difference in their lives. It turns out that ‘robbery’ includes sins of omission, too. I especially regret the children I’ve ignored. Consider a single mother who has no ambition in life other than to live on government welfare for as long as humanly possible. Her children have…no role models, no self-esteem, no discipline, no coping skills, and worst of all, no father. These children, unless innately gifted (and I don’t mean in the politically correct ADHD way), will fall through the cracks. The biggest tragedy is that they will probably grow up…exactly how you expect them too. In short, they will fail, they will be excluded, and they will experience very few moments of genuine happiness. If you think I’m talking about you, I’m probably not; these people have it much worse.

And I ignore them, not for lack of concern. I’m deeply concerned. I ignore them because it hurts too much to look, and to watch. “Please God, just let me just sweep this piece of garbage under the rug, and let me go in peace.”

Elder Christofferson, in his first talk as a Twelve I believe, said rather bluntly that we will never be a Zion people unless we eliminate poverty (and, I presume, all the social problems that accompany it). Well, accomplishing this probably means being Good Samaritans now and again.

So here’s my success rate so far: A while back I had one of these poor children at my house. He was petting the family cat (the way kids do…more aggravating to the cat than soothing, of course). So the cat swipes at his face…three cuts across the cheek.

Well, it should suffice to say that we blamed the child and not the cat. …Worse than 24 mg of caffeine I bet.

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